Happy Thanksgiving!

It doesn’t really feel like this week was Thanksgiving, or that November is almost over for that matter.  It feels like we are stuck in time, August maybe, and everyone else is moving on without us.  It’s HOT out, really hot, and the days aren’t getting any shorter.  We are in a tropical paradise, coconut and banana trees are right outside the window with a sliver of water just visible between the leaves.  It’s beautiful! But it isn’t how fall or winter should be.  Most of you reading this are probably sitting inside away from the bitter cold outside thinking; she’s crazy I’d love that weather right now!  Well enjoy the cold for me!  I guess we tend to appreciate something more when we don’t have it.  I’m getting more used to it though! We were able to have a wonderful Thanksgiving despite these seasonal setbacks.  It was weird not having the week off, spending time with family, and having our usual big family meal; but we had a wonderful meal with our Yap family.  After school I went to work cooking in preparation.  I made bread rolls! It took me two times to get it right, and it still didn’t taste quite like Mom’s, but I did it! I think I’ll be making homemade bread more often nowJ.  Thursday after school I made blueberry pie, pumpkin pie, gravy, stuffing, and I baked chicken!  I had fun doing a lot of cooking, I don’t usually cook too much at home for Thanksgiving, but I felt very accomplished cooking so much this year.  I even cooked meat! I have never done that before, and I was paranoid it wouldn’t come out done, but it did!  We had a potluck with most of the other teachers outside around 7:30.  We didn’t have turkey or sparkling cider; but it was a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am so glad for the “family” I have hear on Yap. The kids don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving for the most part, but they were telling me “Happy Thanksgiving” all day.  My seniors even drew a turkey on the board for me to make up for the one I didn’t have.  My mom, with some help from some church family, put together an AMAZING box for Christmas.  It has everything from a tree, decorations, and nativity, to peppermint flavoring and Christmas movies!  We are decorating tonight.  Despite how weird it feels to play Christmas music in the tropics, we will make it feel like Christmas here! The rest of the week was pretty usual.  Every day had random problems, stressful times, and fun times with my kids.  I am working on a skit I wrote for them to use for chapel on Monday. It is quite funny and they are enjoying it a lot! I hope it goes well.  I have had SA meetings, class meetings, and council meetings just about every day; planning parent meetings for graduation, the Christmas program, and all sorts of other things that need to be finished before break.   It seems like there is so much to do in a short time! I love chaos though, it keeps me busy!  I know God will help me, and it will all happen.  I hope you all had wonderful Thanksgiving weeks and welcome to the Christmas season!

In Memory of Kirsten

Two years ago today a tragedy happened.  I remember hearing about it at home; "Adventist Student Missionary Murdered in Yap" the headlines read.  I was shocked.  At the time I had never heard of Yap, but the idea of a student missionary being murdered just seemed... impossible.  Student missionaries don't usually go to really dangerous places, they are supposed to come back safe and sound after a great year of service.  But that didn't happen for Kirsten.  Early in the morning of November 19 she decided to go for a run by herself.  At the same time a man high and drunk was walking back from a bar.  What happened could have happened anywhere, it happens at home in the states a lot more then it happens here; but this was different.  The locals were devistated and enraged, the school staff scared and heart broken, and her 2nd grade class was left confused and asking for their teacher to come back.  Two years ago when I heard about what happened, I never could have imagined that in a couple years I would be sitting in Yap writing to you, but here I am.  What I have found here isn't a dangerous island but local people ready to help anyway they can and kids of all ages just longing to be loved, taught, and noticed.  I had a lot of people tell me "Go anywhere but Yap" which made me wonder, what about the kids there?  If everyone goes "anywhere but Yap" who is going to teach them? I am so glad God lead me here. 
This week has been a bit different as we have been remembering Kirsten and her service here.  She was an amazing young woman and she left a huge impact. It seemed like so long ago the tragedy happend, but it is still fresh here.  This friday most of my seniors were gone taking a college entrance test, so the three left at school and one of the Junior girls helped me cut yellow ribbons for the school to hang along the road.  I guess yellow is the color for memorials here.  As we were cutting the ribbons the girls started telling me about that day, they were both in high school at the time.  "Ms. I remember all the teachers faces were pale and they just stopped teaching", "The 2nd graders didn't understand what happened and they kept calling out for her".  They told me how all the high school boys were sent to help search for her (they thought she was just injured) all of whom were friends of these girls. "Ms. when they came back,  after they found her, the boys were all crying and their faces were white and they were so angry".  I honestly didn't know what to say, I just let the girls tell me about what happened.  I can't imagine anything like what the students, staff, and Kirstens family has gone through.  What I do know is this, "1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; 7 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 8 A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  I don't think we will ever be able to fully understand tragedies like this, they are just a part of life.  I really can't say it better then Kirsten did.  At the end of the book "Love, Kirsten" their is a journal entry she wrote about these verses, I want to share some of it with you. "Why should their be a time for death?  I wondered if it was to bring us closer to God.  But then I read the commentary and realized that it was to illustrate that nothing lasts forever.  There is a time for good and it may last awhile, but then it will always go away and bad will come.  Life is always changing so we shouldn't sit around being idle, waiting for the good stuff to happen.  We never know when our 'time' is, and so we should take every advantage of the good times we have and work hard to get through the bad times with the help of Jesus Christ because he wants to help us... Think about it: someone dies every second.  Do you think that many of them expected to die? I want my heart to be prepared for death.  I want my life to be lived so that there is something good to say about me when I'm gone, and hopefully my death can lead others to eternal life!".  As we sat in church today I looked out across the pews.  Almost the entire church was wearing yellow in her memory, many of the members talked about how her few monthes here still leave an impact on them today, and letters were read from her students who still remember her and want to see her in heaven.  I am inspired by Kirsten.  She lived her life fully, people do have good things to say about her, and people have been lead to Christ from her example.  I know this has turned out really long, and I thank you if you are still reading, this memorial for Kirsten has just left me with a lot to think about.  Life is so uncertain, I don't want to let any of it to be wasted.
Please keep Kirsten's family and friends in your prayers today, I know this must be a really hard time of year for them.  Please continue to pray for Yap SDA school as well.  I love the students here so much and it breaks my heart to hear them say "No one wants to come teach us anymore".  I pray more and more student missionaries would be drawn here in future years.  I can't imagine being anywhere else! 
Highlight of my week: Since I had such a small senior class Friday, I taught them Dutch Blitz! And they proceeded to beat me at it... haha!  It was really fun to play games and just talk with them.  The more I get to know them the more they open up and share things with me and seek advice from me; and that is one of my favorite parts about being a teacher. 

The Canoe Festival

Their are so many things I could share about this week but I am going to skip ahead to Friday.  We were blessed with another short week!  No school Friday due to veterans day and the 3rd annual Canoe Festival.  They have had a countdown for this festival posted since we arrived over three months ago! The weekend is filled with different canoe races, swimming contests, fishing contests, music, and even dances.  We were ready by 9 am but of course we didn't load the van and leave until well past 10.  Their weren't as many people as I was expecting there, I guess it was because it was only the first day of the festival.  We said hi to our students running a fundraising booth and supported them.  They had been trying to convince us all week that we weren't allowed to go unless we "went local" (as in local dress..).  Haha! They are so funny... Next we headed over to the shore and watched some of the canoes. This morning was the youth portion of the competition.  They had different ages and villages competing on different kinds of canoes.  Canoe is really a loose term though... they were using the traditional canoes for several of the competitions which didn't really resemble a canoe at all.  They are a bunch of small logs tied together, they use long sticks as paddles. They also had swimming competitions.  The best part though was the opening ceremony we walked to next.  It was in the big community center.  The governor of Yap gave a welcoming speech almost entirely in Yapese.  I've never heard any language like the one here! It is very unique.  At the end of the speech he was recognizing all the different visiters and at one point said "would all the white people stand".  Being politically correct is not a big deal here :).  About that time the fishermen returned. They had a fishing contest that started in the morning, not like fishing contest at home though.  They had to take the tradition carved sail boats (no fuel only man power) out to the open ocean.  Upon their return they weighed all their catches to see which boat cost the most.  It was a landslide as one of the boats caught a HUGE baracuda while the others only caught small fish.  The baracuda was almost taller then the man who brought it out of the boat! My favorite part came next; the traditional Yapese bamboo dance!  A group of dancers from one of the villages came in dressed in traditional attire.  They had the colorful grass skirts for woman and thus for men, they were all topless, covered in coconut oil, and had shells and grass leis all over.  The dance lasted a total of 30 minutes.  They had long sticks they hit against each other and on the floor along with a harsh chant and song.  I wondered if they were telling the story of a war, it was an intense dance!  It was amazing to watch, and so unique.  I have never seen or heard of anything like it.  Their really aren't words to describe it.  Hopefully I will be able to show the video we took of it to some of you when I return.  I can't wait to see more of their dances! Next I watched a couple of my students perform in bands and then we did some shopping! Their weren't many booths set up, but we were all able to buy the traditional lava lava skirt!  That is the hand woven wrap around skirt worn by majority of the Yapese women and all outer island women.  They taught us how to put them on too.  I don't understand how the women stop them from falling down, because ours won't stay up! We will definitely be wearing them with safetly pins.  Before heading back to the school we had the privalege of being video taped for a Japanese travel agency.  It was quite funny, I think they were really confused to find young American girls hanging out in Yap; not exactly your usual college student excursion.  We met a lot of people actually.  The weird part is, they already know who we are.  They will start with "hi, you are the SDA teachers right?".  Their are a good amount of tourists here for diving, but somehow they just know that we are the teachers.  Anyhow, it was so amazing to see deeper into the extremely unique Yapese culture today!  Reading over this blog I am struck by how bland my description seems, but words really can't describe the unique culture and life here on Yap.  I think it is so cool how careful they are to preserve their culture.  These islands are becoming more and more westernized every day, but Yap has taken special measures to make sure their heritage and culture is not lost. 

P.S.  Please keep praying for the dengue fever outbreak.  It is continuing to get worse.  The hospital is so overpacked they have beds all through the hallways and have litterally run out of places to put people, their isn't even space on the floor.  Another older outer islander died from it this week and a couple of our students have it now.  We are the only island in micronesia facing this outbreak right now and they are doing all they can to keep it from spreading.  We have been burning mosquito coils all week in class.  Please keep praying! I know God can protect us and this island. 

Unconditional Love

My students, and being a teacher, has brought a deeper understanding of what it means to love unconditionally.  I always had this picture in my head; the students showering me with gifts and love.  You always hear the stories of all the sweet things the island students do for their teachers.  It seems like it was guaranteed they love you; seems like a silly fantasy now looking back.  It's easy to love when you are being showered in love back; but what happens when you aren't? What if you can't tell if the students like you or not?  what if you can't seem to connect with lots of them and all your efforts of love seem to go unnoticed and they don't care?  I think I for some reason thought I would immediately see payment for all my work with the love they would show me back; but they aren't first graders who love you after you've met once and hug you every day.  They are self absorbed, restless high school student who don't want to be told what to do.  This sheds a whole new light on God's love for me.  Loving when it isn't easy.  How many times has God been pushed away, ignored, bad mouthed, hurt, and rejected by the one's he loves?  I'm sad to say I've done it to Him.  He gave me everything, even sacrificed His own life to save me, and some days I forget to talk to Him.  Wow.  Who am I to expect love back?  Love does not seek it's own.  I shouldn't expect a thing from my students, I should love them unconditionally without any thought or need of payment.  That's what God does.  I want to learn to be more like Him.  This week I only want to think about what I can do for them.  I want to show them a love that isn't looking for reward, but is simply love.  How?  I don't know, but I hope God can teach me.  I want to rid myself of my selfishness and really love unconditionally. 

I Get It!

"Ms. I get it!".  I live off those words.  I don't think I've ever had a sentence make me happier.  I'll be frustrated, running low on patience, and feel as if I'm must be failing as a teacher; when just one kids face will light up and exclaim, "I think I get it!" and it's all worth it.  Something amazing happened in Geometry this week.  I was so frustrated last weekend, it seemed the juniors kept getting more and more confused and I didn't know how to help them understand! So I sat in our apartment with a stack of 8 geometry books I dug out of storage trying to figure out how on earth to help them understand! I started over.  I went back to the beginning of the unit and did everything differently.  I wasn't sure if it was working, but wednesday I finally attempted proofs again, but this time it worked! It was only a small step really, and they have a long ways to go.. but they got it! They were so exctied and so was I! Every time I say I want to be at teacher I hear "Well you won't get paid very much".  That's a lie.  Teaching gets paid in ways I can't even describe.  It's not just a job, it's not finished in eight hours every day, and it's paid in ways that don't compare with money.  It's exhausting, trying, sometimes discouraging, and the most rewarding thing I've ever done.  I am so excited to spend the rest of my life teaching!
This week was busy as ususal.  Here is a short summary.   We had the last week of the evangelistic meetings.  I helped out most nights as the chorister and with special music.  So many of the students have been coming all three weeks, and this Sabbath 4 of them were baptized! One of my seniors boys and a freshmen girl among them! It was really exciting, we went with them to the water after potluck this Sabbath.  The pastor went in suit and all and they followed in their church clothes :).  We had Friday off for FSM Independence day, so we went snorkeling of course.  It was an adventure getting there though! We took a boat to go out to a different deeper snorkeling area. Now, the boats here aren't like boats at home... their aren't really seats in it, and we load way more people into them then we probably should! Anyhow, halfway out the little engine stopped.  Apparently the propeller broke and it took a lot of work for Thomas, our Yapese maintenance volunteer, to get it going again.  He took us back to his village to fix it.  We had to drive through this small channel in the jungle.  Bamboo and trees hung over to create a a sort of tunnel.  I was surprised to see we were surrounded by village kids! They were swimming all over, mind you the water was quite gross in this area.  They were in the trees swinging down from the branches, one girl was even swimming with a machete cutting some branches as she went, safe right? They waved and laughed as we drove by, it was so cute! He fixed the engine and we headed back out! After snorkeling we drove around the island a bit, however, they didn't realize we were low on gas... so we couldn't make it back to the car.  He took us to the nearest village, it happened to be an outer island.  Many of the outer islands are actually what to me seems the main island.  If they have a small channel or stream separating with a bridge they consider themselves an outer island.  I don't really know how many people actually consider themselves Yapese on this small island because the outer islanders do not consider themselves Yapese.  Anyhow, the principal was able to call for more gas and a car to come get us.  So a couple of us walked through the village to meet the car.  I had never really walked through the villages before.. it was not what I expected.  I don't really know what I expected to be honest.  With some of the things they have in the store and a few of the modern things it's easy to think life here isn't much different then at home, but it is.  The houses are spread along a pothole filled dirt road.  The houses look more like broken down warehouses then homes.  Some are rusted, they look like they are falling apart.  Kids run all over and woman were gardening in their lava lavas.  I found myself feeling sorry for them, and then I stopped. Why? They looked really happy, happier then lots of people I see driving through a suburban neighborhood with nice homes and perfect yards.  They may not have everything I've grown up with and always thought I needed, but they were happy.  I think I can learn a lot from them.  Of course it makes me realize how much I have to be thankful for, but more then that; it made me realize how consumed we are with "things" in America.  I base happiness on objects more then I realize.  If these villagers aren't living in my idea of a nice house on a nice street I immediatly assume they are unhappy, but they aren't, they are happy with what they have.  Maybe I should be too.  It's a whole new experience seeing life here, and I think their is a lot I can learn from it.