Tis the Season

I have been staring at this blank screen watching the little line blink for about 30 minutes.  Every time I type something I erase it a few seconds later.  Where do I begin?  It feels as if I have nothing to tell and yet so much at the same time.  Their was nothing this week that particularly stood out or was different from past weeks blogs, and yet this week was unlike any other.  I guess this is my way of saying, life here on Yap is beginning to seem normal.  I'm used to every day being a completely unique day with my students, I'm used to doing twice as much as seems possible to fit in a day, and I'm used to leading and planning just about anything at the spur of the moment.  Life here is anything but easy or boring, but it does have a routine that I think I've really settled in to. 
Last Sabbath evening we decided it was time to attempt to make it feel like Christmas in the tropics.  Not an easy task at all.  We turned on our christmas musc, pulled out all the decorations we were shipped, and decorated our apartment.  It felt weird to decorate our little fake tree in shorts and tank tops with coconut trees outside our window but we tried to ignore it.  We watched a christmas movie and cut out a whole bunch of snow flakes to adorn our windows and walls.  Despite all our efforts it just felt, weird.  I had a moment where all I wanted was to curl up in front of the fire at home, wear all my warm clothes, drink hot cocoa, cut down a tree, decorate with all our old decorations, and at least have hope of snow.  I was a little bummed thinking about it, but I had a realization this week.  As I was sitting in my classroom after school with students wandering in and out of my room asking for help with math, playing my guitar, or just talking to me about all sorts of random things I realized even if someone handed me an all expenses paid ticket home, I wouldn't take it.  I'm sorry Mom and Dad it's not that I don't miss you, I do a lot, but this is where I am supposed to be right now, this is the only place I want to be right now.  This may seem like a silly realization, but it really helped me with my attitude towards this whole Christmas season. Yes I miss home, yes Christmas will be hard away from home, cold weather, and all the traditions I know and love; but I don't want to leave.  I am content right where I am. 
This post is somehow becoming long.. I never know how that happens! So I will just tell you a few of the weeks highlights.  The seniors did wonderfully with the modernized Good Samaratin skit I wrote for them.  The chapel went wonderfully and everyone thought it was really funny.  I spent hours preparing a lecture on world war 2 for Micronesia History.  I just love history so much! I have been so excited to teach them about world war 2 because it is the only part of micronesia history I actually know really well.  I was amazed at how little they knew, especially since they live in the pacific.  They had never even heard about the battle on Peleliu, Palau just about 300 miles from them.  I wish I had more resources to pull from, but I can make do with what we have.  They were really interested, it is really fun to teach to kids something they WANT to learn as opposed to my math classes which they don't generally have quite as much interest in.  They asked so many questions and I was so excited to actually know the answer to most of them! I tried some new ways to make math class more fun, including math jeopardy and more activities with side walk chalk.  They loved math jeopardy! They all got into the game and when they missed one they were begging me to show them the right way to do it, yes! We started decorating the classroom for christmas, and they beat me in dutch blitz again. We had a spelling bee and skits for english week, and one of my guitar strings broke.  One of my students came in looking very pale and said "ummm ms.. I am SO sorry, but... we broke the guitar string on accident! We will pay for it!".  I thought they had broken the guitar in half or something the way they were acting, they were relieved to see I wasn't upset at all.  Guitar strings break all the time!  Sadly though the string they broke is the only string the island it out of, go figure.  So they have been leading worship with a five string guitar.  I have organized a parent meeting for graduation plans, I'm working on planning a class christmas party at the beach, working on a christmas performance for the seniors, and I am officially in charge of the entire k - 12 christmas program held in town.  Sometimes, at the end of the day, after teaching, planning, grading, excercising, cooking dinner, etc.. it just seems.. impossible! How can I do all of this?!
 I was reminded how while reading Matt. 14:22-33 this week.  The disciples were on a boat when they see Jesus walking toward them, on the water! They aren't really sure it is Him so Petere says "if it is you tell me to come".  Jesus tells Peter to come, and Peter walks on the water! I've always thought that was a HUGE step of faith, to just step out on the water.  Then, however, Peter loses focus and begins to fall so he calls out to Jesus.  Of course He reaches out for Peter and helps him up, then He says "Oh you of little faith".  What? Peter just stepped out into the open ocean and his faith is little! This made me realize, faith is more then the first couple of steps.  It is more then just getting on the plane to come to Yap and starting school, I need to trust and keep my eyes on Him the whole time.  "Why did you doubt?" Jesus asks Peter; and I have to ask myself the same thing.  God brought me here, gave me my class, and all these responsibilities; I need to keep relying on Him, not just for my first couple steps but the whole time. 
This has become very long, and I'm not really sure if it makes sense, I apologize.  This week one of my students told me "Ms. you are losing it! I think we are making you go crazy!" :).  Maybe that is why this post is long and possibly quite confusing!