Goodbye...

So I guess this is goodbye.  I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by.  It seems like just the other day I was standing nervous and alone loading the plane headed to Hawaii.  I had no idea what to expect or what I was doing.  Ten months ago I didn't know how to teach or handle a classroom, I didn't know what life in Yap would be like, or how hot it could get outside.  I didn't know what it was like to fall in love with a room full of students and I had no idea how hard it would be to say goodbye.  This week went by quickly.  It started with a beach trip with the freshmen.  Later that day an outer island family came and brought me a lava lava.  It's the most intricate one I have, such tiny little stitches put it together.  On Monday Sabrina and I invited two sisters, one a junior the other a sophomore, to come over.  We made them lunch and talked for a long time and sang out on the deck.  Tuesday was the 8th grade graduation and the day for me to officially start freaking out about the 12th grade grad.  I've been planning all year, but I felt like I was still so unprepared! Two years ago I was graduating, and now I was supposed to plan and lead a graduation!? The freak out only lasted about an hour and then I realized I had it under control :).  We spent all day Wednesday at the community center setting up. God sent so many blessings. First He gave us a sunny day.  It had been pouring rain from a tropical storm all week and it was supposed to keep going but it didn't.  It didn't rain all day Wednesday, during graduation, or now even.  Lots of students showed up to help and eventually parents too.  Lots of problems came up but we were able to work through all of them thanks to all those helping.  The practice went well the students seemed ready.  Thursday morning I was back at the community center putting up the finishing touches.  It felt so surreal, it didn't seem like I could be there already, at my classes graduation.  Part way through the grad I gave my remarks to the class, here is what I said....

"Your senior year is over! I know you have looked forward to this for a long time.  For some of you maybe it felt like it too forever, but for others it went by too fast.  For me as your teacher, it went by way too fast.  There are so many memories with each of you I will never forget.  I will never forget the first day of school when you all filed into the class and I told Ron to leave because he wasn't on my list.  I was sure you guys were trying to trick me! I'm sorry about that.  I'll never forget the day I turned around from writing notes on the chalkboard to find Riley wearing a girls uniform skirt.  Or all the mornings you sang "We are Soldiers" trying to name everybody in the class so you could delay math class.  I'll never forget how you all worked together for United Nations day, you guys did such a good job.  Or all the ways you would try to talk your way out of cleaning.  I remember one time I caught a few of you drawing on each others heads instead of cleaning the windows and you claimed your heads needed cleaning.  I'll never forget how you all surprised me for my birthday, blind folding me and taking me to my cake, even though it was a month after my birthday, that just made it more of a surprise.  I'll never forget all the times each of you made me laugh and all the things you have taught me.  You have taught me patience throughout this year.  I've learned a lot about friendship from all of you.  You are so loyal to each other, willing to help each other however you can, and I admire that.  The most important thing I will never forget is each of you.  You are my first class and no matter how many classes I teach throughout my life, you will always be special to me. I'm so excited for each of you.  You have so many opportunities ahead of you.  I hope you embrace the motto you have chosen "We don't limit our challenges.  We challenge our limits".  You have many challenges ahead of you,  but I know you can do it.  You have friends and family to back you up.  I'm here to help any way that I can.  Most importantly you have God.  No matter where you end up, he is always nearby ready to help.  I want to share Phil. 1:9-10 "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ..." I will continue to pray for all of you and whatever challenges lie ahead.  The last day of school I read you "Oh the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss. I'd like to share some of it again now, "Congratulations, today is your day! you're off to great places! You're off and away!  You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  You're on your own.  And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go." Filly, Ron, Cody, Riley, Dylan, Jelena, Jilda, Vyvah, Sam, Paula, Norma, Leyah: I'm so proud of all of you.  It has been an honor to teach you this year, I love you and I will never forget you. 'Your're mountain is waiting, so... get on your way.'"

I couldn't make eye contact with my students as I spoke, I was so close to tears.  Each student gave a beautiful tribute to their parents, we shared lots of hugs, they sang a song, and their families coated them in leis.  They had so many leis I could barely see their eyes! These last few days have gone by in a bit of a blur.  One last trip to town, one last vespers.  We were each given a grass skirt after vespers, which is about the coolest souvenir I can think of. It take months to make each grass skirt, they are so cool!  We taught one last sabbath school class to the youth, they sang us a song to say thank you.  Two students I have grown very close to came to church and sat with me.  They said they would be at the airport tonight too.  Leaving is going to be so hard.  Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers for me this year.  It's time for me to say goodbye.  I have been saying "see you later" instead.  I hope God brings me back here someday.  Until then, goodbye Yap, I'm going to miss you. 

The End

It's over. After 10 months of lesson plans and lectures, laughing at the students antics and and after school tutoring, it's done.  The last week and a half of school went by really fast and were filled with lots of memories.  During the last week I took a student to the hospital, played lots of review games, and did all I could to make sure all of my seniors ended up graduating.  The last two days, finals, were the most memorable.  Since Mr. Alex had to leave early I had to cover as the sophomore homeroom teacher.  I was kind of excited to do that, first of all I hate my quiet mornings with the seniors gone, and second the sophomores seem like a second homeroom class to me.  We sang songs in the morning, I lead a devotional, and we hung out and finished up the few finals they still needed to take.  I taught some of them dutch blitz and they painted their names on my guitar case.  Tuesday was my favorite.  In the morning we finished up our finals. I gave the sophomore class one of those directions tests just for fun. You know the one that says "read all instructions before beginning" and then proceeds to ask them to do silly things like "shout out your name", "wave your hand in a circle" etc.. the last question read "now that you have finished reading all the instructions do not answer any of the questions, write your name and turn it in quietly".  I told them they had to follow the instructions and I would give them extra credit. It was hilarious! The were shouting their names and waving their hands around, following all the questions.  When they realized what they did they yelled out "What kind Ms! No!!".  They had fun though, I could tell :).  To end the day we had a big assembly for all of high school. We showed them the picture show we put together for them and I gave them all cookies one more time.  We did a little trivia game about ourselves throwing out candy for all the right answers.  The last question we answered was the one they have been asking us all year "how old are you".  As promised we revealed our ages on the last day, many of them were quite shocked to hear I was only 20.  We ended with telling them how much we love them and what an impact they have made in our lives.  We told them we would miss them.  The last hour of the day they just took pictures with us and tried to convince us to stay another year.  When the final bell rang showing school was out, I felt so sad; I couldn't believe it was really over.  Here are a couple of experiences from the week I never want to forget....

- Singing and playing the guitar with my students, they teach me a few songs and I teach them the names of chords, they usually just play by ear.
-One of the sophomore girls I have gotten to know the best was sitting by herself on the stairs during lunch. I could tell something was wrong so I took a seat next to her and asked her.  She started talking to me about what was on her mind and told me why she was upset.  I talked to her for a while and gave her a hug and she said "you know Ms. I'm really really going to miss you next year". 
-Some notes I received on the last day "Ms. you are the best math teacher I have ever had, thank you." "My favorite memory was on Wes's birthday when we creamed Ms. Willis face with frosting, it was funny and really fun" "Math isn't my best subject, but the teacher was the best.  I'm really glad I was on your team at the Pathfinder camp"...
-Sitting on the beach talking and hanging out with the students at their class parties Friday.
-Hearing all the youth sing "A home in Micronesia" during church to us as a thank you for all we have done.

This week I have a few more beach parties, some more time with students, graduation set up, and running graduation; and then it's over.  Last Tuesday Jesse left, tonight Sophie leaves and next Sabbath I have to board the plane and say goodbye to Yap.  I know it's time for me to leave.. but a piece of my heart will always be here.

The Beginning of the End

As much as I try to forget and push off the ending, it is impossible to ignore.  This week was the beginning of the end. Tuesday marked the seniors last official day of school.  I've become so used to seeing them run into my classroom every morning seconds before the bell finishes ringing and pour out their excuses for being late.  I love singing with them for worship, even when they take some pushing to get them singing.  I look forward to sharing a devotional thought with them and starting the day with their math class.  Their antics throughout the day make me smile even when they are driving me crazy. I love my class.  How did the year come to an end so quickly? It seems like just yesterday I had half the year to look forward to still.  The last couple days of school with them will remain fresh in my memory for a long time.  They started with their last chapel on Monday morning.  They lead singing and then one of my senior boys spoke.  He had trouble last time he spoke but after we talked he did a lot better this time.  To end a video had been prepared showing their junior and senior years.  The rest of the day was spent working on finals and finishing the quarter.  My favorite day was Tuesday.  For their last day I made them a special treat, nutella peanut butter brownies.  I let them sing a little longer then usual in the morning, lead by the ukulele (their instrument of choice).  One last devotional from Jeremiah 29:11 and then I gave them their gift.  I had the book "Oh the Places You'll Go" for each of them with a message I wrote in the beginning. I wasn't sure if they would like it, I thought they might find it silly. But they loved it, for a second it was like I was teaching an elementary class, "Ms. will you read it to us?!".  They all sat quietly, quieter then I think they have been all year, and slowly flipped through the pages as I read it to them. "You have brains in your head, you have feet in your shoes, you can steer yourself any direction you choose...".  The rest of the day flew by, they coated my guitar case in their names until it looked like a rainbow of paint exploded on it, it makes me smile. 
I was sad starting the school day Wednesday thinking I would just be in my empty classroom for first period but to my surprise lots of my seniors came! They hung out with me and worked on last minute make up work.  It isn't entirely over yet!  We even had a cake fight on Friday :).  This week starts the last full week of school, then finals, then graduation.  I hope and pray it all goes well, or at least that God continues to help is through no matter how things turn out! I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned this year is that perfection or things "going right" can be extremely over rated.  Some of the best memories and  experiences here have occurred when things didn't go quite as planned.  So instead I guess I'll pray for the wisdom to work through whatever is ahead and the strength to accept that the end is coming. 

Firsts and Lasts

This week went by fast, too fast.  It had a lot of firsts in it; first time to bird island, first time to see a Manta Ray and a shark, first paper ball fight in geography class. It had a lot of lasts also; last regular school day with my seniors, last week of prayer, last time speaking for vespers, and most likely the last baptism.  We started the week with a trip to bird island on Sunday.  Bird island is very small, and mostly rocks, it's kind of like a miniature rock island from Palau.  Their isn't much land, mostly rock covered with crabs; but it is completely surrounded by white sand and reef!  They took us out in shifts on the boat.  We swam most of the time, explored the poky rocks, and screamed multiple times when crabs the size of my face scurried out of a crevice next to my hand.  As the tide went out a nice little beach formed around the rocks.  School started as usual Monday, but this week was week of prayer. We had a special guest speaker, Jesse's grandfather, come and speak to the high school and middle school. It's always exciting to see some of the students decide to give their life to Christ during week of prayer.  One student in particular has been struggling this whole year.  He really wanted to be baptized but his parents wouldn't let him.  He finally felt so called to be baptized that he came to church today and we went to the water right after church.  I know it is going to be hard for him at home, but I pray God would give him courage and faith to face what's ahead. 
This was my last full week with my seniors.  All I have is two days of finals next week and they will be dismissed early.  I can't believe it is almost over.  I really can't imagine a morning where they aren't running in just as the last bell rings coming up with their excuses for being late, hearing them sing as loud as they can to try to earn a star on the board, or trying to persuade me that I don't feel like teaching math this morning.  I just can't imagine it, I'm really going to miss them.  I was getting really frustrated with how messy they were leaving the room so they made a special effort to clean the classroom. I came back from geography and found they had thoroughly cleaned out everything and rearranged the desks.  They say the are excited for summer, but I can see they are also sad to see this chapter of their life over.  One of the girls told me "Ms. college sounds cool, but I don't want this to end".  I know exactly how she feels, but I reminded her what I always remind myself.  Life doesn't stop and we have to keep moving with it or we will miss out on the next amazing plan that God has ahead for our lives. I am going to try to fit as much fun into the last few days with my seniors this week.  They only have a few finals and then free time, so we will see what happens :).  I find myself recording and taking pictures of the most mundane things because I know those are the things I will probably miss the most.
My favorite moment this week was my last class of the week, geography. I started class with some pictionary to review India before giving an intro to China.  The kids started quietly throwing paper balls at each other, trying to be quiet.  Eventually one ended up hitting me, and then another. I looked around and the kids were all smiling, I could tell they weren't trying to be mean or disrespectful, they were just having fun. So I picked up the ones thrown at me and started to throw back, this of course resulted in an all class paper ball war.  The kids were having so much fun and of course I became I giant target.  I eventually got them settled back down and I continued the lesson.  The kids were all talking about how fun class was afterwards and saying they were glad I knew how to have fun.  I think this year has taught me how to embrace things as they come.  I could have gotten upset with the kids and told them to stop and pay attention, but then I would have missed out on a fun memory with them. 
We had a holiday Friday so we took a boat out in search of Manta Rays.  You are guaranteed to see manta's year around in Yap, if you dive.  It is sometimes harder to see them just from the surface. But we found several! The ones we saw were only babies, which is crazy because they were the length of my arm span.  The full grown mantas can get between 18 to 20 ft wing span, large enough to pull the boat! We jumped in the water so see them snorkeling, they are harmless, but they were scared away by that time.  They took us to see a shark too.  We saw a big reef shark out really deep, I was really scared to get in the water but they said it was harmless so we jumped in! I was so nervous, but the shark stayed hidden while we were swimming around.  I was hoping it would come out so I could say I swam with a shark! Maybe I still will before I leave. 
Here goes a new week, I hope it is filled with as many memories as this week was.

Frozen

Their are moments in life I wish I could freeze.  Not forever, just for a few minutes so I could enjoy them a little bit longer.  Time seems to move on so fast and their are things I just want to sit and enjoy a little longer.  Sitting on the desk in the sophomore room surrounded by my girls sharing their problems with me and confiding in me.  My seniors singing as loud as they can in the morning hoping to earn another star on the board.  Being joined by several of my students during my morning supervision; they came up and sat next to me, usually they just go sit with their friends.  Watching the sun set through the coconut trees from the almost broken deck outside our apartment; and leading the small congregation in worship for vespers barefoot with a guitar that refuses to stay tuned in the humidity. Life, however, doesn't slow down or stop it seems as if it actually speeds up.  Despite the business of this week it had many blessings.  The two students in my class who had the betel nut I found ended up being asked to withdraw, but they didn't give up! I was really worried that when they were asked to leave they would just give up on graduating, something I would just hate for them to do.  But instead they worked hard to turn everything in to me and transfer their grades to Yap High so they can still graduate.  Just when I was getting really stressed about graduation planning and the end of the school year my students would come in with something funny to tell me or do something to make me laugh. For example, they decided they wanted to play freeze tag for PE.  I'm still really concerned for some of my seniors making it to graduation, but I just think they might make it.  The ones who were ignoring their make up work are finally taking an interest in it, finding that last bit of motivation they need.
   It can be really easy to think these kids are just like American kids.  Especially when they are talking about their favorite Glee character and singing popular songs from the radio; but their lives are very different.  I am reminded of this at random times.  Like when I found out that one of my students is pretty much married.  In Yapese culture marriage is a bit different then in the states, not quite as official.  If a women is living with a man for a long time, a year or two, they are pretty much married in everyone's eyes.  The only thing that could make it more official is if the father gives the groom the daughters marriage shells, then it is 100% official.  The women don't have much of a say in it either.  I mean some do, but if the father decides to give her shells to a man she has to go along with it.  Anyways, it turns out one of the girls I have the hardest time with has been living with her boyfriend for several years and she is only 16.  Her parents don't seem to be in the picture anymore because her aunt usually comes to parent teacher conferences.  I'm reminded even more of the difference in life for the kids here as I drive through some of the villages.  Their houses are small and made of storage containers.  Many of the students, especially girls, aren't allowed to leave home much.  I'm surprised to find out the kids are dreading summer, they hate breaks.  Students who hate breaks?! Who has ever heard of such a thing? It isn't that they love school, they just hate being home.  They don't get to go hang out with friends they work most of the time; babysitting, fishing, cooking, cleaning.  They have very little freedom.  Hearing them describe the village life to me and their family life and traditions gives me a new perspective on my own life; on life in the States.  I hope I don't lose this perspective when I get back because I have so much to be thankful for, so many blessing I tend to pass by without noticing. 

Campouts, Fires, and Sports

As soon as spring break ended life in Yap went back into overdrive.  For the past two weeks I have been with my students every day.  The first weekend after spring break was the much anticipated Pathfinder camp out.  Usually when we reach Friday, as much as we love our students, we collapse in our apartments after school and relish the silence.  Instead all the students stayed.  OK, not quite all, but about 90 5th-12th graders were here.  Each unit had to build a booth, the students made the out of coconut leaves. The girls tried teaching me now to weave the coconut branches to make the roofing.  They kept laughing at my work and said it looked funny, but I tried! Sabrina and I slept with the high school girls in the kindergarten room.  We cooked over a gas stove with them all weekend and lead them through different events.  Sleep was rare, but the loss was well worth it to spend time with my students.  I made pancakes for them Sabbath morning, they were quite impressed.  We had sabbath school outside under the trees.  We set up a long system of string with two destinations; heaven and hell.  The students were blind folded and put in a line.  They had a "good" and "bad angel giving them advise were to go and it was there job to figure out who to listen to.  The students had lots of fun and all the grades had a good conversation about the activity.  Later that day we took all the students on a long hike.  Their were students as far as I could see in front and behind.  I imagined it was kind of what the Israelites looked like leaving Egypt, we were moving equally slow too.  They took us through the jungle and into caves left by the Japanese from World War 2.  The hike ended at what we call "the canyon".  I got a few high school students to lead in a small sundown worship before we headed back to the school. The weekend was full of late nights and early mornings (only in Yap do students wake up at 4 am on a Sunday), flag steeling, marching, campfire cooking, and memories with my students I will never forget.  By Sunday everyone was exhausted, but the students left talking about next years camp out so I would call it a success.
As the week started everyone was still tired from what seemed like a week of work and monitoring students. We were all hoping for a quiet easy week, but of course that didn't happen.  Monday night the principal started trying to burn some excess greenery, one thing lead to another and we had a huge out of control fire.  Apparently the police came around 2 am and the whole hill was on fire, I slept through the whole thing completely oblivious! We thought it was out Tuesday morning but it was so hot out and it hadn't rained in so many days that the fire just kept smoldering.  Suddenly while I was sitting in my classroom during morning break I noticed smoke from the bushes right outside my classroom.  The students started yelling fire and running out to see.  All the bushes behind the high school were catching on fire, we aren't really sure where it came from.  We were told to keep teaching so I went from class to class watching flames several yards away from my window.  Finally the fire department came and worked all day to stop the fire.  The students attention was long gone and not much math was learned that day.  But as an answer to prayer it finally rained that night and we haven't had any problems since!
The last day of school this week was high school sports day.  The students have been asking about the event all year, it is a favorite.  We were divided into teams and assigned a group of students to lead.  I was in charge of the yellow team; so were threw on yellow shirts, painted our faces, and started the competitions.  We had a cross country run for them, relay races, a mini volleyball tournament, basketball, and several races.  It was a very hot day (in the 90s with over 80% humidity), so the usual.  Lots of the girls on my team kept pushing themselves too hard and would come close to passing out or couldn't breathe.  When we got to the 100 meter dash for the girls none of them could do it because of asthma and heart conditions so they said "Ms. will you run for us?! We need your help!". So there I was heading out to do the thing I always used to say I hate.  Good thing we have been exercising after school! :).  It was fun to to hear the students of all teams and grades shouting "Go Ms. Rychelle!".  They were even more shocked when I kept up with them.  It's one of those memories I will never forget.  We cheered for the rest of the games and had a potluck. To end the day we had some fun events including tug of war with a mud pit in the middle. Sophie and I were on the same team with a bunch of students, our team started to lose and before we knew it they all bailed on us! Instead of going in the mud pit the jumped to the side sending Sophie and I sailing into the pit! They found this quite funny, we tried to pull them in with us but they got away! The last event was a water fight, always a big hit.  Of course I got drenched again, several coolers were dumped on my head, but this time I got them back with some water balloons :). 
I keep thinking more and more about how soon all of this will be over and I just can't believe it. I'm ready to come home but I can't imagine leaving my students.  I want to push it out of my mind for now and stay in the moment, I want to remember everything and make the most of my last few weeks teaching them.  The seniors get out early so I only have 2 weeks and 2 days left teaching my class.  It seems like just yesterday I was scared to death to meet them and completely clueless how to teach them, and now it's almost over.  I ask for your prayers for my seniors.  They are so close to finishing but lots of them are having a hard time making the final push.  They have classes to make up and that they keep ignoring despite my reminders and unwise decisions they keep making.  I want more then anything to see all of them graduating on June 7th, but right now I don't know if that's going to happen. I found betel nut, lime, and cigarettes in two of my students bags on Friday.  These two students have had many infractions and have been given many chances this year for drinking, chewing, disrespect, and skipping class. According to the hand book they should have been expelled a while ago but they have been given lots of grace.  It kills me to think of them leaving so close to the end but I know if they aren't given the proper consequences the rest of the school will follow them and believe they can get away with it.  They will think it doesn't matter and their actions don't have consequences. I don't know what the right thing to do is, and I don't get to make the decision. The school board is meeting tomorrow to discuss it and I just pray for wisdom for them.  As much as I would hate to see them leave so close to the finish maybe they have to learn the hard way.  Please pray for my seniors and for the choices they make this last month before graduation and as they move on to college. 

Adventures in Palau

Last week was spring break! As much as I love teaching, we were all very ready for a break.  So Saturday evening I packed my bags and headed to the airport for the midnight flight to Palau.  Palau is only about 250 miles away from Yap.  We are about the same distance from the equator so the temperature is just about the same; boiling hot.  That is where the similarities stop though.  Palau is quite a bit larger, much more modern, and has a myriad of different animals.  I was shocked to see a "city".  To me it seemed quite large compared to Yap with paved and painted roads, light up store signs and screens, busy streets, and gas stations! Going home is sure going to be a shock.  The student missionary girls apartments are right in the middle of town next to the elementary/middle school.  Anyways, I arrived in Palau at midnight and Chelsea attacked me as I walked out of customs! It was so nice to finally be able to talk again!  Sunday we toured the rock islands.  Our first stop was the milky way.  The sand their is ridiculously white and it makes the water look all.. well milky.  It is supposed to be made out of some sort of mineral and be good for your skin so of course we covered ourselves in it.  Next we went snorkeling.  The snorkeling was different there.  The fish seemed a lot larger and their were more kinds, that might have been because we were farther out then we usually snorkel in Yap.  After lunch at a pretty beach we headed to jellyfish lake; by far the best part of the trip.  In one of the rock islands there is a lake full of jellyfish that cannot sting you.  Somehow the water got cut off from the ocean and over the years, the jellyfish stingers became less sensitive.  Long story short it is an entire lake full of millions of jellyfish that can't sting you! It was amazing to float there with jellyfish all around me all different sizes.  Our last stop was a place known as paradise.  It's a snorkeling spot where the fish literally swarm around you.  some were as long as half of my arm!  Hundreds of fish swarm around you, particularly if you have food.  They will eat straight out of your hand!  I felt a little claustrophobic with them all swarming around me! It was really neat to see them up so close though.  The rest of the week I spent with Chelsea and the other student missionaries.  I sat in on her classes, sang with her adorable kids, spoke at their chapel, went out to eat, and enjoyed an amazing massage. The week went by way too fast!  I'm back in Yap now and school as back in session.  We are busy as ever preparing for a pathfinder camp out this week.  Here goes the last 8 weeks!

New Perspectives

Being a teacher is continually teaching me a new perspective of God.  This week a student was complaining to me, "Ms. why do you have to make it so hard?  Why can't you just give us an easy assignment.  Why do we have to go through all these hard problems?".  "Because that is the only way you will learn..."  As I gave this response to him it hit me, that is exactly how it is with God.  I tend to complain in my head sometimes, "God why does this have to be so hard, why can't the job be easier, why are there so many frustrations in my day..." the list goes on and on.  As I gave that response to my student all of a sudden it became perfectly clear to me.  Because that is the only way I will learn.  Just like I stay after school tutoring and helping students with their tricky math problems, God is there to help me with my difficulties, not to get rid of them.  This isn't a new idea, its something I've always been taught and known; it just seemed a whole lot clearer to me. 
This week went by really fast.  It was a four day school week, Friday was parent teacher conferences.  We were all pretty exhausted to start the week, grades were due on Monday so we stayed up late finishing them Sunday night.  Many of my seniors began doing their make up work (for failed classes) so they can graduate after school.  So starting Monday I had over 10 students in my classroom everyday.  It was a little stressful at first, usually after school I sit quietly planning in my classroom tutoring a few students as they trickle in and out; but now there were 3 students asking what to do for U.S. history, 2 more trying to make up Algebra 1, and 5 other students asking for help on different assignments from the week.  The text books needed for make up work seemed to be missing from the library and through all the chaos I couldn't begin planning until over an hour after school!  Chaos makes life a little more fun though :).  It gave me a chance to talk more with students I don't always get to talk to a lot and with the end of the year so close, I'll take any opportunity to spend time with my students.  Thursday was a harder day.  Tuesday night Sabrina and I went to help with the evangelistic meeting in the village of Gagil.  The meeting was in a little outdoor meeting house.  It is a simple building, a roof with poles holding it up, no chairs or walls.  Everyone crowded in and sat to listen.  We lead the music and sang a special song.  Out of all the places we've had meetings, I think that was my favorite.  It was so informal and simple.  The hardest day of the week was Thursday.  It was one of those days that makes me realize we are more then teachers.  One of the junior girls I have become close to throughout this year ran past my classroom in tears and went into the bushes crying.  I went after her and sat with her for a while as she cried the kind of tears that show deep pain.  The principal took over later and sent me back to class, it was a while before I got to talk to her.  When I did she just unloaded about her struggles her problems.  I felt honored that she would trust me and seek me for help and I just prayed for the right words to say and the right things to do to help her.  Some days it seems like I'm just teaching them math problems they will try their best to forget over the summer, but we are more then that.  Teaching is what opens the way to help with the things that can really make a difference in a students life.   

Abandonment

Their isn't much to report this week.  Don't get me wrong it was an amazing week, but you've heard it all from me before.  We started a new set of three week long evangelistic meetings at the church, the village of Gagil, and one of the outer island villages.  Sunday was a huge birthday celebration, a combination of over 5 birthdays.  We had a big church potluck and swimming at one of the resorts here.  Monday was the beginning of the 4th and final quarter!  I can't believe I am already to the last quarter of the year.  It has gone by so fast!  At the same time living and teaching here is so natural, it seems like I have been here forever now.  Tutoring continued, finals grading was piled high, and I added lots of memories to my time in Yap.  I will never forget the conversations with a few of my girls about boys and friends and everything in between.  I got really upset with my seniors, I apologized and so did they; they even cleaned the room without me asking and I could see they were trying really hard to do better. I will always laugh at the thought of all of my senior guys breaking out into the "single ladies" dance during marching practice on Friday, and students hiding behind doors to scare me to death when I walk in the room.  I'm excited to report that for the first time, it seems like some of my students are really starting to understand math, even in Geometry! I'm seeing some students who have stayed back for tutoring improving their scores up to two letter grades :).  Teaching is addicting.  Just when I am getting so worn out I don't think I can finish the week, one students light bulb will come on and it gives me energy to keep going. There isn't much else to report about the week.  It was amazing! Just another week teaching in Yap :).  So instead I would like to share with you what I have been learning this week. 
Abandonment.  It's an interesting word.  When you hear it you might think of abandoned orphans, or families fighting to keep going.  You might see one of those commercials for animal shelters with abandoned animals needing a home.  What I'm thinking of though, is serving with abandonment.  We've heard phrases like "reckless abandon", but what does that really mean?  The dictionary defines abandon as "to leave completely and finally", "to give up control", "to yield (oneself) without restraint or moderation".  I am a selfish person.  I always seem to have some motive that will benefit me.  I came to teach, but I want to gain experience from it, I want to make a difference.  I surrender to God, but I want to be saved through Him, I want Him to lead me and help me through life.  That isn't really what serving God with abandonment should be;  "to give up control", "to yield (oneself) without restraint or moderation".  Oswald chambers says, "Our Lord replies in effect, that abandonment is for Himself, and not for what the disciples themselves will get from it".  True abandonment to God is not about me.  It's about surrendering myself to Him, because He loves me, not to gain anything.  "Beware of talking about abandonment if you know nothing about it, and you will never know anything about it until you have realized that John 3:16 means that God gave Himself absolutely. In our abandonment we give ourselves over to God just as God gave Himself for us, without any calculation" (Oswald Chambers).  When Jesus died he wasn't expecting anything in return.  "For God so loved the world, that he gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not parish but have eternal life" John 3:16.  He didn't make everyone change in order for Him to die for us.  He sacrificed himself even though they rejected Him.  He sacrificed himself while we mocked Him.  He separated Himself from God even though some may never accept His gift. I want to abandon myself to God like this.  I want to learn to follow without an agenda, simply to follow; bad or good, easy or hard.  My prayer this week has been for God to teach me this, true service outside of myself. 

The Little Things

This week something amazing happened.  To most it probably wouldn't seem amazing, it probably wouldn't even be important, but to me it meant the world.  Wednesday I had 10 students stay in my classroom with me until 5:30 getting help in math, painting the room, and singing with their ukuleles.  On Thursday one of my senior girls gave me pansit for lunch, and on Friday one of the juniors sat with me for an hour teaching me some guitar chords and how to pick.  All of these things seem little maybe, insignificant; but it showed me that maybe, just maybe, I am making a little difference to them.  This Friday the 3rd quarter ended.  We finished up finals and we will start the 4th quarter on Monday.  I can't believe how fast the time has gone! It seems like I just got here.  I've always heard past SM's say it isn't until after Christmas that your students really become comfortable with you and I am beginning to see that.  Every week at school gets better and better.  When I think about leaving I am so torn.  I am excited to see friends and family at home and I sometimes have dreams about sleeping under blankets and taking a hot shower; but I am going to miss this place. I'll miss seeing my students every day and hearing their excuses for late homework.  I'll miss my girls running up to my desk at lunch to get advise about guys or hearing them play my guitar all through the break.  It's the little things that make the big difference.  For a while I was really disappointed with myself.  It seemed like after all this time I haven't had that big story.  You know the conversion story the returned missionary tells or the letter they share from a student that says they are loved and they did something incredible.  I realized this week that it's really stupid to look or try for that.  When I leave I probably won't have that big story.  I won't necessarily have a student tell me I inspired them or changed their life.  God put me here to love them and teach them and that is all I can do.  I may never find out if I really made a difference, and that's OK. I think this is true for a lot of tasks we are given in life.  I think it's human nature to look for a reward or a sign that what you are doing is important.  Sometimes, most of the time, following God means doing the little things that often seem insignificant.  I've seen that following Him means giving up what I want or think I need, and being willing to do whatever it is He needs.  I'm going to focus on the little things.  For now, I'm not going to think about all the things I will miss in a few months.  I want to make this last quarter the best quarter yet. 
This week their has been a song stuck in my head called "let the waters rise".  The chorus goes something like this..
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knee
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow you
I will follow you...
These words have been going over and over in my head.  "let the waters rise if you want them too I will follow you".  It doesn't matter what happens, it's OK if things get even harder, I'm still going to follow and trust He will get us through.  

Yap Day

Combine Christmas, Thanksgiving, and any other holiday you can think of together and you have the excitement for Yap Day.  My students have been telling me about Yap Day since the first week of school. “Ms. have you heard of Yap Day” “Are you going to Yap Day” and their favorite question, “Will you go local?!”. Yap Days are the first two days of March and it is the biggest cultural celebration on the island.  Culture is extremely important to Yap.  Out of all the islands in Micronesia they have held on to their original culture more than any of the others as all the westernization started to sneak in to everything.  One of the ways they have tried to protect their unique culture is by creating this holiday.  No matter how much TV people start watching and how American they start to dress every year for two days everyone returns to their old ways.  There are lots of competitions and cultural displays including many dances.  Each year it is held at a different village, and all the villages must take part.  All of the locals are supposed to dress traditionally.  Many people still dress traditionally on a regular basis, but not everyone.  It is common to see the older generation dressed in their thus and lava lavas grocery shopping.  Rarely, however, do you see younger people dressed traditionally in town, usually they only dress that way in their village; except on Yap Day.


Thursday morning we loaded up the van and headed into town for Yap Day!  We met one of the church members when we arrived and they loaned us traditional grass skirts to wear for the festival.  The grass skirts are made out of hibiscus and died bright colors.  They are very big and very heavy.  It takes a very long time to make them, it was so nice of them to loan them to us.  They told us that they were making one for each of to keep; I can’t describe how giving and kind this family is.  Now that we were dressed in grass skirts and had bright flower leis on our heads we were ready for the festival.  As we entered town people were everywhere! I didn’t know there were that many people on this whole island!  Most were dressed “local” as they call it.  This means the Yapese men were wearing thus (kind of like loin clothes) and the woman were topless with the grass skirts and several leis.  For the outer islanders the men also wore thus (just tied differently) and the women wore their woven lava lavas topless.  The outer islands are all considered a part of Yap, but the people hold a big distinction between “Yapese” and “Outer Islander”.  I have students who have lived here their whole life but they are not Yapese they are Outer islander.  Anyways, they are proud of their origin and they are only allowed to dress from their island.  You can see why our students were obsessed with the question “will you go local?”.  To go local means to dress traditionally.  Obviously, we did not go all the way local!  Some of my students didn’t come to the festival simply because they didn’t want to have to go local and their village requires they do if they attend.  While others who have grown up more traditionally don’t find it weird at all and gladly join their village dressed “local”.


We spent the next couple days enjoying every aspect of the Yapese culture.  We watched some men carve out canoes and make wood carvings, saw women weave skirts and the baskets they sell in the store every week.  They had coconut tree climbing contests and swimming races.  My favorite part was the dances.  Each village presented one of the traditional dances.  They get all dressed local and spread a yellow colored coconut oil all over their body.  They have different dances for different stories of their history.  A woman’s sitting dance where they literally sit the whole time chanting and telling a story with hand motions.  They are telling a story, but not in a language that anyone understands.  They aren’t speaking Yapese or Outer island; but a ghost language that is supposed to be from their ancestors who first came to the islands.  My favorite is the bamboo dance.  It tells the story of WW2 on the island.  It is a very fast paced dance with lots of yelling, they fight each other with the bamboo.  I had 5 different students in the dance with their village.  It was even cooler to see my students participating.  We drank lots of coconuts, collected lots of handmade souvenirs, and witnessed the culture first hand. It was a unique experience.  One of my favorite memories came from an older village lady sitting under the coconut leaf hut we were watching the dances from.  She had been sitting there for hours in her grass skirt humming and carving away at the coconut leaves.  I don’t think she spoke any English, but she kept smiling at us.  She carved and folded the leaf into the shape of a small bird and attached it to a piece of grass.  Then she began to sing in Yapese and motion how to make the bird fly.  She smiled big and handed one to me and one to Sabrina.  I think it is a local kid’s toy.  She sat their making them all day, handing them to each child that passed and giving them to us as long as we sat there.  Even though the culture here is drastically different from what I am used to, even a little shocking, it’s beautiful.  It’s so cool to see a way of life so different from what I am used to.        

The Highlights

Just when I think things can't get any crazier, life accepts my challenge. I'll start with last Sunday. We were all excited for our expected visitors. The Guam-Micronesia Mission is now under the North American Division instead of the Asia Pacific Division. Because of the change delegates from the NAD were going through the islands to see how things were going. We were lucky to have the group of leaders come to Yap. The NAD President and the VPs in several areas, including education, came with Pastor Jose Rojas. It was really exciting to have visitors! Until now I didn't realize how nice it is to see new people when you are on a little island with the same people for months, even though they are great people :). We had a potluck for them and lots of meetings. They were really helpful and encouraging. The communications director came and interviewed all of us student missionaries. My favorite part was on Monday; Pastor Jose Rojas spoke for the high school chapel. He was here a couple years ago, and the students just love him. He is a really good speaker. I have never seen all the students so focused on anything in my entire time here. They were more focused listening to him then they are watching movies! It was really cool to see them so interested and attentive to a sermon. The NAD stayed until Tuesday night. We found out that day that Pam had to leave. She has been sick again for the last couple weeks and, not surprisingly, the hospital has no idea what the problem is. After all she went through and all the problems she had last time the NAD said she needed better medical help. So once again we all loaded up in the van and headed to the airport after midnight. The whole thing felt like dejavu. We pretended she would be back, that she was just going to Guam to get better and then she would be back; but I knew it wouldn't work that way. Yesterday we found out that she is going all the way back to Canada for good, again. We've prayed so much and she has worked so hard it is really hard to understand why this keeps happening to her. Through it all I've seen her grow stronger though and I know that even though it doesn't make sense, God has a purpose for her and for those of us still here.

The rest of the week sailed by and I was so thankful to finally make it to Sabbath. It was one of those weeks I think I would have lost it if it wasn't for Sabbath! We went to church as usual, lead Sabbath school, piano, and all the usual. Afterwards was potluck! I love Yap potlucks; partially because I get a break from cooking; but mostly because the food is amazing. It's a mix of Filipino and local food and whatever American dish we bring. I have become known as "the cookie girl". I brought peanut butter cookies a few times and they were a HUGE hit. After potluck we took a nap at the church and then headed for a hike with church family. At the end of the hike we loaded into the back of a flatbed truck and headed into a village to have sundown worship by the water. When we got there George, a church member, climbed a coconut tree with nothing but his machete and knocked down coconuts for us to drink. We sat and drank our coconuts and watched the kids skip rocks on the water before our sundown worship. On the drive back I sat in the back of the truck and just stared at the clear sky full of stars. I couldn't think of a better ending to a crazy week.

Sunday the craziness started all over again! It was the day of the Junior Senior Banquet. We had to plan quickly and then head into town to set up. JSB was run a lot different than I am used to, but we went along with it. It was fun to see the students get all dressed up. As the senior homeroom I had to act as one of the judges. I now know that I really do not like being a judge; it's just too hard of a decision to make about my own students! The students performed songs they prepared, Mr. Alex and I sang "the Prayer" together and we all enjoyed a wonderful dinner at one of the nicest hotels in Yap. It went pretty well, and I saw the students smiling even though they tried to pretend it was boring :).

This week is just as busy. I had a sophomore girl collapse in tears in front of me from a rumor someone passed about her on Monday and spend half of the class outside with her. I had 3 students in my classroom for an hour after school for tutoring and Sabrina and I were up until midnight preparing progress reports for the students. I've stopped waiting for things to slow down! Life here is crazy, and I love it. I don't love all the things that happen but God hasn't let us down yet and I know he won't. No matter what is thrown our way He gets us through. I apologize for any sentences that don't make sense or cluttered thought in this blog, but I am in a hurry and I must get back to work. Only one school day left and then we have a four day weekend for the biggest holiday on the island; the "Yap Days" celebration! Thank you for your prayers and support, I hope all is well at home. :)

Creativity Week

Most schools refer to it as"spirit week", here they call it Creativity Week.  Since I am the SA adviser it was my job to organize and lead the event.  Spirit week, if you aren't familiar with it, gives a chance for the kids to dress up and have fun.  Each day has a theme.  The SA officers decided on crazy hair day, twin day, career day, character day, and class color day.  It was so fun to see the kids dress up, and they LOVED not having to wear their uniforms.  From colored hair, to scientists, to little red riding hood we saw it all.  We dressed up too, we even  painted our hair for crazy hair day!  A good thought, but very unpleasant to get out! On Wednesday I spent three hours making Belgian Waffles for the geography class.  We just finished studying Europe and they had never tried waffles before, much less Belgian waffles. They loved it!  They were all gone in a matter of minutes even though I made over 40!  It made the 20 minutes of trying to make egg whites peak by hand worth it.  The best part of the week was Friday.  Friday was one of those days this year I will never forget, it might even be my favorite day in Yap :).  We only had two hours of classes and then I was in charge of games for all grades(k-12).  It was extremely chaotic!  I didn't think it was going to work for a while, but slowly everything started to come together.  We paired the youngest students with the oldest students to make teams.  They were so cute!  My seniors did a great job of being role models, the 1st graders kept calling them "mom" and "dad" and hung out with them in the senior classroom during lunch.  We played relay races, three legged balloon game, and staff vs. student soccer!  I thought I was going to lose my voice trying to organize them!  But despite the high schoolers complaints and grumblings I saw them smiling and laughing and I know they had fun :).   The end of the day was the best.  It was REALLY hot, one of those days where it doesn't matter what you do or where you go you can't escape it.  So, I convinced a few of my seniors and the elementary students to help me start a water fight!  We were out of balloons so we collected water bottles and buckets.  Once it started it caught like fire!  In a few short minutes I was soaked to the bone, clothes and hair dripping; it didn't matter that we couldn't possibly get any wetter, the kids still thought it was hilarious to get the teachers!  At any given second I was surrounded by elementary students dumping their water bottles on me and yelling "we got Ms. Rychelle!!" :).  We finally got the high school to get involved too, I got the elementary to help me dump water on them.  That is when it got really crazy.  Sabrina and I had one 11th grader who kept getting us!  He was so sneaky! We kept trying to get him back but he ran way faster then us!  He even found ice water to dump on us, that was quite shocking. After school was out some third graders waited outside my room saying "Ms. Rychelle please come outside we have a flower for you" of course they just dumped water on me, but they did give me a flower later. At the end of the day when we sent them home for the weekend we were soaked to the bone and extremely sunburned but it was worth it.  With every water bottle that was dumped on my head I could see the love from the students in the big smiles on their faces.  It was one of those days that makes the hard ones worth it.  No matter how frustrated I become with them some days, I love my students and I love the memories I am making with them.  The longer I'm here the closer I get to them, and the closer I get to the date on my return flight.  That is a day I'm not looking forward too, for now I will try to dwell on the time I still have here.  I will save every card I get from the elementary saying "Ms. Rychelle I love you" and remember every conversation I have with the high schoolers because this is a year I never want to forget. 

Acceleration

This year seems to be accelerating at a ridiculous rate.  The days and weeks are flying by faster and faster; how is it already February?!  Time isn’t the only thing accelerating though, life in general is.  Each day is becoming busier and busier.  There are more things to organize, more things to grade, more things to plan, more jobs to cover, and more work to finish.  We are short staffed again!  Andrea and Sophie will be in a Hawaii for a month while Andrea recovers from the surgery she had to have on her fractured ankle.  We’ve really only had 8 hours of the entire school year that we had the full staff present and healthy, so we are getting used to it.  That means I have extra PE classes to teach, senior health, and some office work.  This is the hardest work I have ever done, and I have never loved anything so much in my entire life. This week I painted in the senior classroom, graded, planned, baked for the students, cooked dinners, lead staff worship, continued planning graduation, planned and organized spirit week, had several staff meetings, spoke at vespers, and the list goes on and on.  There is so much to do!  Next week will be spirit week for all grades; promises to be fun and crazy.  Friday will be an all day game day for all grades.  Then that same weekend a group of leaders from the North American Division Adventist Conference will be coming to see and assess our school.  I’ve always heard that island time is slow, which for the most part is true.  The culture is laid back, it’s common for events to start over 2 hours after they are scheduled and no one arrives on time.  At Yap SDA School however, time moves with acceleration.  I want to suck every minute dry before they are all gone.  Here are a few ways I tried to do that this week…

-          I talked with my seniors who returned from their suspension for Tuesday worship, I talked about how our choices affect us and everyone around us, how everyone makes mistakes, and how God still loves us and wants to give us a fresh start.  I know most didn’t pay attention, but several of my students were glued to what I was saying.

-          After school one day we grabbed some water guns and attacked Pamela in her classroom then we went for all the students still waiting for ridesJ.

-          I spent Friday lunch time sitting on the floor teaching and learning some guitar with two of my senior girls.

-          I asked one of the junior girls who looked upset what was wrong and listened for 30 minutes as she told me.

So even though these next few weeks are going to be crazy and busy and really hard, I’m looking forward to every minute.  As I was walking to my classroom Friday morning there was a beautiful rainbow hovering over the school.  I was immediately reminded of God’s promise and of one of my favorite quotes, “Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear”.  God has brought me this far, I know he will continue to carry me through. 

Choices

To Do:
Graduation- Book the community center, create program, invite government officials, make announcements, pay for gowns, help the Juniors with decorations and set up.
Creativity Week:  Create guide lines and rules, set date, advertise with SA, create activity plan, send home letters.
Fundraising- Help the seniors complete fundraising, complete the senior gift.
Church- weekly youth Sabbath school, pianist, children story (once a month), vespers service, etc...
Paint senior and junior classroom,  send parents weekly update of missing work, try to make a yearbook....
The list goes on and on, there are so many things I want to do before my time here is up!  I can't believe I only have 4 short months left.  I want to suck every moment dry, do everything I can possibly do!  It seems like too much sometimes, but I know if I rely on God amazing things can happen.  I learned a long time ago, in high school, if you pile more on your plate then it seems possible to eat you just have to start one small bite at a time.  I intend to drain every last moment out of these last few months here! 
This week was interesting.. on Monday the task of confronting students about Friday came. We started with the three students I knew for sure had been drunk.  Two by two the principal talked with them.  Until finally he called me in to talk.  It turned out 7 of my students were involved and drinking on Friday!  I was devastated.  One of my best students was the one who brought the vodka to school.  My trust in them was severely hurt, it just kills me to see how they don't think their actions matter or effect anyone but them.  I am proud of a few of them though, who were very honest in their written report and owned up to what they did.  They were suspended for the rest of the week leaving the seniors with a class of 8.  I've talked with those that weren't suspended, commended them for staying strong and encouraged them to stay strong.  I have thought a lot about what to say to the rest of my students when they come back.  I want to help them realize the choices they make now have a HUGE impact on their life later.  That the choices they make don't only affect them but their parents, friends, and even teachers.  I really want to help them realize that everyone makes mistakes, the important things is what you do after you make a mistake.  Do you learn from it or keep repeating it?  I really hope at least a few of them will be able to see that they have the possibility for a wonderful future, they just need to stay focused. I'm not good with finding the right words, so I am giving this one up to God.  I'm praying for wisdom for the words to say, I want more then anything for them to see that God will take them no matter what choices they have made and is always willing to save them. 
The week had a fun ending!  The last period of school Friday was supposed to be health and work experience, but we ended up just letting them go out to play some sports.  I ended up in a game of Hawaiian football with the freshmen, one of my senior guys, and a few sophomores.  I warned them I was terrible at football!  They wanted me to play anyways :).  Turns out Hawaiian football has very different rules then I am used to, but it was fun.  At the end they threw the ball to me just to see if I could catch it, and I did! Shocked them almost as much as it shocked me!  We are heading to the airport yet again tonight to take Sophie and Andrea.  Andrea needs to have surgery on her broken ankle in Hawaii and Sophie is going to assist her.  Your prayers would be appreciated for a smooth surgery and recovery, hopefully they will be returning in a little less then two weeks.  The principal pointed out that this entire year we have only had one 8 hour period of having all the staff healthy and here.  The rest of the year has been a constant struggle, but God is getting us through.  I'm sure the devil will keep pushing us down the rest of the year, but he won't succeed :).

Math Week

This week I was given a challenge; make math fun for all 63 high schoolers.  I try to do fun activities in each class at least once a week.  A fun review game, solving with side walk chalk, or something like that.  Spending a whole week trying to involve the entire school though wasn't as easy.  I had the classes make math posters for starters.  They made some funny ones I think I will take home with me at the end of the year.  Some funny ones were "Mathematics is like love, simple idea but it tends to get complicated" or "Math is a stalker, it follows you everywhere".  One of my favorites shows me teaching at the chalkboard and a student praying at their bed, "Dear Jesus, please help Ms. Rychelle to cancel the algebra test tomorrow", on the bottom it says "As long as algebra is taught in schools, students will pray".  I also had a pi competition. I never really got into pi competitions in school.  I didn't see the point of memorizing a bunch of digits.  However, when I promised to make a pie for the person who could memorize the most digits, a had several students get really excited.  It became a huge competition!  The winning student recited 198 digits! I couldn't believe it! I also had a student recite 136 and another 100 digits.  I will have to make sure I make a really good pie :).  The last part of math week didn't go so well.  I was supposed to do an assembly at the end of the week involving all of the high school.  What do you do at a math assembly with over 60 students in 4 different math classes?!  The only thing I could think to do was Math Jeopardy.  I had 4 participants from each class to make two teams.  The idea wasn't so bad... but it did not go well.  I think those participating actually had a lot of fun, but the rest of the day was a disaster.
Sometimes I feel like I have so little control of the students.  We have no hallways, so it's hard to contain them inside the school.  Their are only 4 of us and 63 of them.  We don't have a tardy bell so attendence is only taken at the beginning of the day.  Lots of them have very little motivation to do their best, much less even try.  It often seems like a battle we can't win.  No matter how much we try to watch them, motivate them, and encourage them.  I finally learned on Friday what the problem was.  I've been too cosumed with what "I" can do to help them.  I pray for God's help and then I focus on what "I" can do.  I finally learned this Friday I need to stop being so selfish.  It doesn't matter who changes them or helps them, nobody but God can do that.  Instead of trying to be the hero I have a new prayer.  I'm praying for God to help my students. Work on their hearts, because that is the only thing that will really help change them.  All of this came about because of the chaos of Friday.  It was a particularly hard day.  It seemed like none of the students were listening to anything I was saying so I repeated everything at least 10 times.  They weren't following any instructions and they just didn't care about turning in or doing anything I was assigning.  I started to notice some of my students acting weird so I started keeping an eye on them.  I was pretty sure a few of them were either high or drunk.  Before I could do anything about it though I had to go set up for the math assembly.  I tried to find the principal but he had gone into town.  As I was trying to do all of this I noticed a problem.  Except for Sabrina, the other teachers weren't helping.  Since it was math related they just kind of stepped aside and let me handle all of the students.  So there I was, in the front of the chapel, trying to run the Jeopardy game, sending one of my girls out because she was drunk, and watching students just get up and leave the chapel with no way to stop them without constantly stopping the assembly and going looking for everyone outside.  It was a losing battle, when I tracked down a few students more had left, when I stopped the game to take care of a problem, more problems came up.  At the end of the day I just sat in my desk, close to tears, and prayed.  These students have so many problems I am clueless to help them with.  I learned a good lesson though.  I can really see how God is teaching me this year.  From now on, I need to rely more on God.  I know I will still have bad days like this, but I need to stop trying to be the miracle worker.  Every day I am praying for God to help my students, open their hearts to change, and use me in any way He can.  My request this week is for you to pray for my students too.  My heart just hurts for them.  The things they go through, family situations, and the decisions they make just hurt me to see.  Though I feel powerless, I know God can help them.  I'm looking forward to another fresh start on Monday :). 

Expect the Unexpected

You would think, after over 5 months in Yap, we would no longer be surprised by daily life.  However, the last few months have taught me not to try to predict what's going to happen.  As a student missionary in Yap you have to expect the unexpected.  No matter how routine the days become, everyday has something unique to adjust to.  This week is a great example.  As an answer to prayer both Pamela and Andrea were able to return this week! Pam still has some medical problems from the hospital here but they cleared her to come as long as she is careful.  We were so excited to have them back! It seemed like maybe for the first time all year we would have a full, healthy staff.  Then, two days after Andrea arrived, she stepped off a ledge onto a bottle that was left, which rolled her ankle.  I couldn't believe it when Jesse came running up to our apartment saying "Andrea broke her ankle!".  The first thing that came to mind was, "Why?!".  It seemed like she was trying so hard to follow God's will, and yet she was being struck down yet again.  It amazed me to see her smile even as they loaded her into the back of our van, with a mattress on the floor, to take her to the hospital since all the ambulances were busy.  She had a rough night, but she didn't lose faith.  That really inspired me.  We don't always, actually rarely, understand why things happen.  But we really don't have to worry about that, we just need to rely on God.  That is what I learned from Andrea this week.  She could be upset because she came back to the mission field after having Dengue just to get hurt again, but she wasn't.  It's so easy to be close to God and praising Him when everything is going well, just as you planned, what's hard is when everything goes wrong.  I've been thinking a lot about this the last few days and it really made me realize how selfish it is to think that way.  God went through so much for us in order to save us and give us a connection to God.  He promises to guide us and be with us if we will surrender to Him; and yet, as soon as things don't go as smoothly as I think they should, I want to complain and claim "it's not fair".  It seemed so silly when I though of it that way.  God already saved me from sin and planned out a future for me, I just need to rely on Him regardless of the circumstances. 
This week, aside from the above incident, went pretty well.  We had school off Friday for parent teacher conferences.  I had a lot more parents come this time!  I was talking with them most of the morning.  I had a couple moms talk to me for over 30 minutes desperate to figure out a way to help their kids.  We were able to come up with some ideas to hold them accountable and I was able to pray with them.  I really hope together we will be able to help some of the students that are really struggling.  We left church early today to Skye with Walla Walla University for vespers.  It was so great to listen to vespers, hear familiar voices, and talk with some past Yap SM's and friends after the service.  As much as I love it here I miss WWU and my friends there a lot.  It was really encouraging to talk to them for a bit and share some experiences we have had. 
Thank you so much to all of you who have been praying for us and supporting us since the beginning.  This week, if you think of Yap, please pray for Andrea.  By a miracle the swelling stayed down enough for them to be able to set it straight and put it in a cast.  They are just waiting to find out if she needs surgery.  It's scary to have anything medical go on here, especially after what happened to Pam. 

5 Months Later...

5 months ago I was filled with questions.  What would Yap be like?  Would I be a good teacher?  Would the students listen to me?  Would I like it?  Why did God send me here?  Now halfway through my time here, I’m filled with different questions.  Am I doing enough?  How can I be the best teacher for my students, and the hardest question of all; how on earth will I be able to say good bye to my students and this island in another 5 months?  A year ago I couldn’t really explain to you why I chose Yap.  I just had a feeling, out of all the places I could go, that God wanted me in Yap.  I am so glad I listened! These last five months have been amazing.  They have included some of the hardest tasks I have ever faced.  God has been working on me and changing me.  I feel like I’m learning more then I’m teaching.  My students are teaching me patience.  I think it is a lesson that you can never really finish.  It’s on going, just when I think I’ve finally got it down my pride gets in the way and I find myself starting over.  I’m learning to be flexible.  Things rarely go as expected.  I have to change an entire class at the last minute because they still don’t understand yesterday’s lesson, the person who was supposed to be the pianist is gone, or the children story is needed with 5 minutes notice.  To say things don’t always go as planned is an understatement!  I’ve seen these last few months that God is here, even for the tiniest things.  My priorities in life have changed.  The things I want in life and my goals are slowly coming together.  I don’t know what God has in store for us here on Yap for the next 5 months, but I couldn’t be more excited to find out.  I’m sure it will involve new challenges for us and some hard lessons.  I have so many things I want to do for my students.  So many school events to plan, and ways I want to make a difference.  My prayer is that this island would use me up.  When I return in June I don’t want to think “What else could I have done?”.  I want to know that I gave everything I had.  Please keep us in your prayers! It is so encouraging to know we have family and friends supporting us.  Pam will be returning tonight; hopefully with good health for the rest of the year!  Another blessing to be thankful forJ. 


Highlight of the week… When I came in to teach sophomore music on Friday I found them ready to surprise one of the girls for her birthday.  I had to go talk to a disgruntled parent for a little while; when I came back they were all covered in cake! Frosting covered their faces and cake was in their hair.  I was laughing at them and saying, “What happened when I left?!” when they attacked me!  Frosting completely coated my face, they rubbed it through my hair and it dripped down on to my shirt!  Needless to say the music lesson didn’t happen, but we had a little fun before the school day endedJ.   

A Trip to the Store

Happy New Year! This week has been a busy one back at school, but I am so happy for break to be over! Those are words I never would have imagined saying.  It wasn't because break was bad, it was great! I just missed my students, and teaching every day.  I can tell that with teaching as my career I will never dread the end of breaks :).  This campus seemed too quiet after a while and it was so great to have the students back.  Their isn't much to say about the week.  It was more of the same I've told you about before.  Not to say it has become boring, teaching could never be boring, but it has definitely settled into a very familiar routine.  Their isn't really anything new or different to tell you about.  So instead I will tell you more about shopping here, I don't think I 've said much about it yet.

Shopping on Yap, or any of these islands, is an adventure.  You never really know exactly what you will find.  I don't think I have ever come back with everything on my shopping list, and I always end up with something I hadn't planned on.  The stores are entirely dependent on shipments.  Aside from a few fruits, nothing is grown or produced here.  Everything must be shipped.  Those working in the store don't even know exactly what will be in the next shipment, or when it will come.  Some weeks their is plenty of bread, eggs, onions, flour, and all sorts of things like that.  Then the next week you go shopping their won't be any of it.  We couldn't find wheat bread for over two months, and flour disappeared for 3 months.  This week I couldn't find any onions, and milk was low, but I randomly found taco shells!  In the states everything can be planned out perfectly.  You are pretty confident in finding eggs and beans at the store, but not here.  You have to be flexible! It's the same with clothing.  It's pretty funny to see the things that come in. I don't know where they get their clothing from, but they get really random things.  For example, they got a shipment of "Angry Bird" shirts in all different sizes that all of a sudden showed up at every store.  I don't think most of the people even know what "angry birds" is.  Shopping in Yap is a unique experience and it has taught me to be thankful for the little things.  Never before would I have imagined jumping up and down for joy in the grocery store because I found whole wheat bread, Alfredo sauce, or taco shells :). 

Happy Sabbath! I hope your new year is going well :).