The Little Things

This week something amazing happened.  To most it probably wouldn't seem amazing, it probably wouldn't even be important, but to me it meant the world.  Wednesday I had 10 students stay in my classroom with me until 5:30 getting help in math, painting the room, and singing with their ukuleles.  On Thursday one of my senior girls gave me pansit for lunch, and on Friday one of the juniors sat with me for an hour teaching me some guitar chords and how to pick.  All of these things seem little maybe, insignificant; but it showed me that maybe, just maybe, I am making a little difference to them.  This Friday the 3rd quarter ended.  We finished up finals and we will start the 4th quarter on Monday.  I can't believe how fast the time has gone! It seems like I just got here.  I've always heard past SM's say it isn't until after Christmas that your students really become comfortable with you and I am beginning to see that.  Every week at school gets better and better.  When I think about leaving I am so torn.  I am excited to see friends and family at home and I sometimes have dreams about sleeping under blankets and taking a hot shower; but I am going to miss this place. I'll miss seeing my students every day and hearing their excuses for late homework.  I'll miss my girls running up to my desk at lunch to get advise about guys or hearing them play my guitar all through the break.  It's the little things that make the big difference.  For a while I was really disappointed with myself.  It seemed like after all this time I haven't had that big story.  You know the conversion story the returned missionary tells or the letter they share from a student that says they are loved and they did something incredible.  I realized this week that it's really stupid to look or try for that.  When I leave I probably won't have that big story.  I won't necessarily have a student tell me I inspired them or changed their life.  God put me here to love them and teach them and that is all I can do.  I may never find out if I really made a difference, and that's OK. I think this is true for a lot of tasks we are given in life.  I think it's human nature to look for a reward or a sign that what you are doing is important.  Sometimes, most of the time, following God means doing the little things that often seem insignificant.  I've seen that following Him means giving up what I want or think I need, and being willing to do whatever it is He needs.  I'm going to focus on the little things.  For now, I'm not going to think about all the things I will miss in a few months.  I want to make this last quarter the best quarter yet. 
This week their has been a song stuck in my head called "let the waters rise".  The chorus goes something like this..
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knee
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow you
I will follow you...
These words have been going over and over in my head.  "let the waters rise if you want them too I will follow you".  It doesn't matter what happens, it's OK if things get even harder, I'm still going to follow and trust He will get us through.